I am thankful that I’m incapable
Of doing any good on my own
I’m so thankful that I’m incapable
Of doing any good on my own
From Thankful by Caedmon’s Call
In 2009, the first year of this blog, in honor of Thanksgiving here in the USA I posted an entry about some things I would have been thankful for in 2009. If they were even remotely true. I’m a collector and, dare I say connoisseur, of Nigerian 419 style phishing messages. Since then it’s become an annual event. So without further ado, here is a sampling of my favorites from 2013. The things I’m thankful for.
I’m thankful for old business associates from past, failed scams who saved my cut for me, despite the fact that I have no recollection of those events.
From: Barrister Benson <003@buttler.onmicrosoft.com>
Sent: Wednesday, November 27, 2013 10:52 AM
To: Recipients
Subject: I DID NOT FORGET YOUR PAST EFFORTSI NEVER FORGET YOU
How are you with your family? I hope fine. I’ m happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds from BOA (Bank of Africa) transferred under the cooperation of a new partner from Venezuela, Presently i’m in Venezuela for investment project, meanwhile I didn’t forget your past efforts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it failed us some how. Now contact my secretary in Benin Republic West Africa through his e -mail id (mikelhorton01@live.com.mx ) ask him to send you the A.T.M VISA CARD worths sum of ($850,000.00 US Dollars) which I kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this transaction. so feel free and get in touch with my secretary Mr.Mike Horton he will send the A.T.M to you.
Regards,
Barrister Benson
I’m thankful for people who die with enormous amounts of money floating around in dormant accounts with no heirs.
From: Creg Badmus <cbadmus11@gmail.com>
Sent: Friday, August 2, 2013 1:39 PM
Subject: Hello Dear.Private Banking Division
HSBC Banking Corporation.Greetings with due respect ,
Before I introduce myself, I wish to inform that this letter is no hoax so I urge you treat with respect and endeavour to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning it.My name is Mr.Creg Badmus ,accountant with Private Banking Division of (World’s Local Bank) HSBC in this regional branch . I have secured and protected transaction record of $9.8 Million US dollar discovered floating in a dormant account,without documented evidence of next of kin.The HSBC will release and transfer to account you will provide within seven working days under active partnership with my insider role.
This is possible only if you trust and willingly capable to work in confidence .More details shall be given to you as soon as you indicate committed interest with full data. This Proposal however is not mandatory nor in any manner compel you against your wish,I suggest you call on my private phone number but if you feel uncomfortable ,please ignore.I need your strong assurance that you will never let me down,I guarantee that this will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.
Yours Sincerely,
Mr Creg Badmus.
+60 1126394325.
I’m thankful for opportunities to take part in war profiteering for fun and profit.
From: ns@pkspb.ru
Sent: Monday, September 2, 2013 7:23 PM
Subject: Look Good HereDo you wish to become rich due to armed conflicts? It`s right time to do it. Just as the first bombs descend to Syria,
petrol prices will move up just as MONARCHY RESOURCES INC. (M O_N K) stock price! Go make $$$ on September, 3rd,
get M O_N K shares!!!
I’m thankful for the opportunity to literally remake myself into someone new.
From: Travelling Documents <info@ups.com>
Sent: Tuesday, March 5, 2013 2:21 PM
Subject: Passports, Driver’s Licenses, ID Cards, SSN Cards, Birth CertificatesSelling Passports, Driver’s Licenses, ID Cards and Birth Certificates
Erasing Criminal Records (Finger print and Eyes Scan)
Get your self a new identity with the highest security and discretion.
Highest Quality, Extrem Security and International Delivering
If you are interested contact us to travellingdocuments@yahoo.comBest Regards
Travelling Documents
What a fortuitous combination of offers! First my old buddy Barrister Benson was kind enough to save my $850,000.00 US Dollars cut from BOA (Bank of Africa) by way of Venezuela deal that went south. Then an accountant in a branch office of Private Banking Division of (World’s Local Bank) HSBC who, no doubt got my name from Barrister Benson who was feeling bad about that BOA deal wants to cut me in on $9.8 Million US dollar – which he guarantees will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect me from any breach of the law although the “Hello Dear” subject is a little creepy (Creg, dude, I don’t swing that way). And then the semi-anonymous offer to invest in MONARCHY RESOURCES INC. (M O_N K) for a bit of petrol war profiteering and finally the good folks at Travelling Documents provide me a way to dash away with all that loot. Hey – they must be legit with that info@ups.com address, right? I mean, what could possible go wrong?
I’m thankful for companies who alert me to arrest records, financial aid notifications and credit score updates
From: |Attention| <mdwayne@funambulart.com>
Sent: Monday, June 24, 2013 2:28 PM
Subject: Arrest-Records for [your email here] {Mon, 24 Jun 2013 15:28:10 -0500}Arrest- Records for [your email here] {Mon, 24 Jun 2013 15:28:10 -0500}
Click-to – View
pls- end- mssgs
1741 W Corona Ave
Phoenix, AZ 85041
From: 2nd-Attempt <ewalker@funambulart.com>
Sent: Monday, June 24, 2013 2:17 PM
Subject: Financial-Aid Notification for [your email here] [Mon, 24 Jun 2013 15:17:26 -0500]Financial – Aid Notification for [your email here] [Mon, 24 Jun 2013 15:17:26 0500]
pls- end- mssgs
1741 W Corona Ave
Phoenix, AZ 85041
From: [Second-Request] <xb1@khakepook.com>
Sent: Monday, June 24, 2013 2:23 PM
Subject: Score-Updates for [your email here] [Exp/TransU/Eqfx] Mon, 24 Jun 2013
15:22:47 -0500Score- Update for [your email here] [Exp/TransU/Eqfx] Mon, 24 Jun 2013 15:22:47 -0500
View Your Documentation
pls- end- mssgs
1741 W Corona Ave
Phoenix, AZ 85041
How about that? A one-stop phishing shop for all your fake alert needs! But wait – it gets even better:
I’m thankful for (the same) company who sends me gift cards from Wal-Mart and Wendy’s.
From: WAL-40993-01 <jk@fs-hxy.com>
Sent: Monday, June 24, 2013 1:42 PM
Subject: Someone just sent you a Wal-Mart Card [1000USD]Someone just sent you a Wal – Mart Card [1000USD]
pls- end- mssgs
1741 W Corona Ave
Phoenix, AZ 85041
From: WEND-773662801-1
Sent: Monday, June 24, 2013 2:19 PM
Subject: Your $50 Wendy’s Card [Mon, 24 Jun 2013 15:18:51 -0500]Your $50 Wendy’s Card [Mon, 24 Jun 2013 15:18:51 - 0500]
pls- end- mssgs
1741 W Corona Ave
Phoenix, AZ 85041
How sweet is that? The same Phoenix, Arizona USA address for all those different companies and email addresses! In case you were wondering, the alert links all go to http://funambulart.com/sohtaiks and the gift card links all go to http://fs-hxy.com/sohtaiks. Maybe it’s outsourced phishing.
I’m thankful for politicians who request permission to keep me personally informed – even though I’m way outside their district.
From: Congresswoman Cheri Bustos
<CongresswomanCheriBustos@supersavermarketing.net>
Sent: Thursday, November 14, 2013 2:14 PM
Subject: Requests Your PermissionCongresswoman Cheri Bustos would like to email you periodically regarding legislative issues in
Congress that are vital to you, your family, and the 17th District of Illinois.Receiving this information by email is a fast and efficient way to learn more during these
significant times and will provide you with timely information and important news.Email is part of an ongoing effort to keep constituents informed and engaged. If you would prefer
not to receive these email messages, please click here .Best Wishes,
Congresswoman Cheri Bustos
1009 Longworth HOB
Washington, DC 20515
(202) 225- 5905
Who knew that the federal government was reduced to issuing congresswomen supersavermarketing.net email addresses. Ah, such sad fiscal times are these.
I’m thankful for banks that alert me to automatic transfers with handy attachments containing nasty surprises.
From: Ricardo Duffy <mortifyingtfx@gmail.com>
Sent: Monday, February 25, 2013 5:52 AM
To: [Whole bunch of email addresses in the clear]
Cc: [Whole bunch of email addresses in the clear]
Subject: Automatic transfer notification
WIRE transaction is completed. $3302 has been successfully transferred.
If the transaction was made by mistake please contact our customer service.
Receipt of payment is attached.*** This is an automatically generated email, please do not reply ***
Attachment: payment receipt.zip -> Contains: payment receipt.exe -> Contains: Backdoor.Agent.RS malware
From: Payment notification system <pallbearersqhi6@gmail.com> Sent: Thursday, February 21, 2013 11:44 AM
To: [Whole bunch of email addresses in the clear]
Cc: [Whole bunch of email addresses in the clear]
Subject: Automatic transfer notification
Importance: High
WIRE transaction is completed. $962 has been successfully transferred.
If the transaction was made by mistake please contact our customer service.
Payment receipt is attached.*** This is an automatically generated email, please do not reply ***
Attachment: payment receipt – 884993762994.zip -> Contains: payment receipt – 884993762994.exe -> Contains: Backdoor.Androm malware
I’m thankful for banks that notify me with credit card statements and unauthorized access notices with handy forms containing surprise destinations.
From: Citi Cards <citicards@info.citibank.com>
Sent: Friday, December 14, 2012 4:17 AM
Subject: Your Citi Credit Card StatementAdd citicards@info.citibank.com to your address book to ensure delivery.
Your Account: Important Notification
Your Citi Credit Card statement is ready to view onlineDear customer,
Your Citi Credit Card statement is now available for you to view online. Here are some key pieces of information from
your statement:Statement Date: December 13, 2012
Statement Balance: -$9,676.80
Minimum Payment Due: $355.00
Payment Due Date: Tue, January 01, 2013Want help remembering your payment due date? Sign up for automated alerts such as Payment Due reminders with Alerting Service.
This form contains mostly fraudulent links, including many of the graphics which are primarily from http://images.bfi0.com/creative/2009/citi/…
The money links (i.e. where your money will go if you click them) are these:
http://renovationrealestate.delaustralianhosting.com.au/cornstarch/index.html
http://benimolsunayakkabi.com/sneezes/index.html
From: alerts@citibank.com <alerts@alerts.citibank.com>
Sent: Friday, November 8, 2013 3:09 PM
Subject: Unauthorized Access Notice
Attachments: Citibank.html
Trouble reading this? Add alerts@al erts.citibank.com to your Address BookWe recently have determined that different computers have tried to log on to your Online Banking account and multiple
password failures were present before logons.We now need to re-confirm your account information with us.
Please download and open the document attached to this e-mail in order to verify your records. Please follow the
instructions from the document.If this is not completed by November 10, 2013 we will be forced to suspend your account indefinitely, as it may have
been used for fraudulent purposes.PLEASE NOTE: This is a mandatory measure. Failure to verify your records will lead to permanent service suspension.
After verifying your records you will be able to use your account as usual.We thank you for your cooperation.
This Alert was sent according to your account settings; please do not reply to this message. Please do not contact us
directly as this issue is mainly processed by the Online System.Attachment: payment receipt – 884993762994
This attachment is a web form that is almost completely sourced from Citi.com – except for this little gem:
<input name=”submit_to” value=”effeferegregregre@yahoo.com,weijweifh838383@lawyer.com” type=”HIDDEN”>
I’m thankful for lovelorn ostensibly Russian beauties like Nastya, Olga 1 and Olga 2 who are dying to meet me.
From: Anastasia <noreply@cgkbajkajhkcggec.googlereply.com>
Sent: Monday, May 20, 2013 6:53 AM
Subject: How are you??
How is it going?? I’m Nastya. i look for a second half! I love travelling and pottery. Send me mail. Yours, Nastya!
From: Olga <xNVwnXi78@atpxtp.de>
Sent: Monday, February 11, 2013 11:39 AM
Subject: I wait for the answer
You have drawn my attention to a site of acquaintances. I hope, as I shall like you. How I to you in a photo? The truth -
pretty?But in a life I more nice!!!
And as I cheerful , kind, sociable and fluffy! I like to go in for sports, read books, to listen to music. I love winter and
summer. I do not love spring and slush.
If I have interested you, with pleasure I shall tell about myself more in the following letter.
I wait for the answer on pague123@yandex.ru
But in a life I more nice!!!From: Olga Ivanova <fheddozmw865@smilesbychilds.com>
Sent: Monday, February 4, 2013 12:00 PM
Subject: your profile to produce on me greater impression
hello webjoseph!how are you today? What is your name?
my name is Olga, You frequently are on this site http://www.beautygirlsrus.ru/ ?
I today wanted to talk to you in a chat
You have yahoo or hotmail ID? if you write to me, ok?
I shall wait from you the letter with impatienceOlga
Wow! What a hard (sic) choice to make. I mean, with a name like Nastya how can I go wrong? And she’s looking for a second half – just like the Broncos! But Olga 1 is charming in a sort of can’t-figure-out-Google-Translate kind of way as well as cheerful, kind, sociable and fluffy. Maybe she’s a cat. But apparently Olga 2 is familiar with my devastating charm and rapier wit from my profile on http://www.beautygirlsrus.ru. Oddly I can’t actually remember ever going to that site, much less setting up a profile. Oh well that’s one of the downsides to living fast and not dying young.
I’m thankful for kind people who win big lottery prizes like Allen and Violet and Dave and Angela who want to spend those millions making me rich.
From: Allen & Violet Large <info@yahoo.com>
Sent: Thursday, March 21, 2013 1:09 PM
Subject: Generous Act
Dear Sir/MadamThis is my seventh time of writing you this email. My wife and I won a Jackpot Lottery of $11.2 million in July and have
voluntarily decided to donate the sum of $1,000,000.00 USD to you as part of our own charity project to improve the lot
of 5 lucky individuals all over the world.If you have received this email then you are one of the lucky recipients and all you have to do is get back wit h us so that
we can send your details to the payout bank.You can verify this by visiting the web pages below.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us -canada -11699678
Good Luck,
Allen & Violet Large
From: Dave and Angela Dawes <info1@hdfcbks1.com>
Sent: Tuesday, August 20, 2013 10:53 AM
Subject: Happy Celebration In Advance
Dear Lucky Recipient,
You are receiving this message because my wife and I have listed you as one of our lucky selected millionaires of 1.5
million Pounds. If you are wondering how you were selected, we Utilize the service of website and search Engine That
Gives away cash prizes to help in the selection.
To Verify the genuineness of this email, watch our interview by visiting this web page so That You can be 100% sure That
You Have Not received an email hoax kindly click here
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8820740/101m-lottery -jackpot -winners-Dave-and -Angela -Dawes -to -give -millions-to -friends -and -family.html
Kindly Provide us with the below requested information, so that we can issue your draft.
Name:
Address:
City:
State:
Zip Code:
Country:
Telephone:
Happy Celebrations in Advance,
Dave-and -Angela -Dawes.
I’m thankful for all of the swell job offers like Consumer Service Critic, Mail & Package Assistant, Shipping/Receiving Clerk and Tour Manager all from the comfort of my home.
From: Joseph webster
Sent: Monday, April 22, 2013 2:40 AM
To: Webmaster
Subject: Consumer Service Critic
MCA -LOGISTICS INC.™ is currently drafting a LIMITED sum of VALUE CRITICS .
JOB OFFER POSITION: Regional SYSTEMATIC CRITIC .ABOUT US:
===========
MCA -LOGISTICS INC® is a public survey company that uses analyticalShopping to measure the manner of service
imparted.
It’s an advent to amass definitive perception about products and services.We work with some of the largest, popular businesses in the America; from Banks to Fast Food to Petroleum,
Technology, Fashion retailers, and others more.JOB DESCRIPTION
=================
You will be employed to conduct an all charges paid survey and opinion task on behalf of MCA -LOGISTICS INC.
As our EVALUATIOR/ANALYTICAL clientele, you will be askedto POSE as a normal consumer while going to different places of work.
You’ll be required to discharge exact under- taking such as obtaining a merchandise or utilizing a service.
Your task will be to assess and measure the virtue of retail services rendered.
You’ll covertly evaluate their customer service while appearing as a normal customer When you’re done, you will be expected to fax your EVALUATION RECORDS (which we will provide to you) to us and then you will get paid for your opinions .
That is all there’s to it !Peculiar expertise are not required for this task.
If you became interested in the vacancy, please reply to company.offer1@gmail.com with the following informations:Your name,complete mailing address,telephone and email address.
We will send you the details and the employment contract.
*****MINIMUM AGE DEMAND IS 30 YEARS************ Matured ANALYZERS ONLY, due to sedulity.
ALL ASPIRING ANALYZERS SHOULD BE ABOVE THE AGE OF 30.LEYTON KONCESKA
H.R DEPARMENT
MCA -LOGISTICS INC. ©1992-2013
From: Joseph webster
Sent: Thursday, May 2, 2013 12:41 AM
To: Postmaster
Subject: Easy, fast, profitable
My name is Michael Watson, I’m Hiring Manager with Royal Mail 4 Delivery, Inc. I lately reviewed your CV with great
interest and I think that you may possess the experience needed prescribed for an occupation with our company.
You may see into this work as a part – time one or as an another earning and profit. I can mail you in more detail
description of Mail & Package Assistant per your letter of inquiry through email.
Please, do not hesitate to ask me any questions.
Thank you for the provided opportunity.Yours faithfully,
Michael Watson
Royal Mail 4 Delivery Inc.
Michael_watson_job@gmx.com
From: Joseph webster
Sent: Sunday, January 20, 2013 10:39 AM
To: AOL Users; Webmaster
Subject: EU deliveries is hiring
EU Deliveries is employing for the position of Shipping/Receiving Clerk.
We have many years of experience transportation individual parcels, papers and heavy cargo and have become pleased associates with USPS, UPS and FedEx.
As a Shipping/Receiving Clerk, you will be working from home. We suppose
our Shipping/Receiving Clerk to conduct the next activities:
– Suggesting our purchasers with the best level of buyer assistance service possible;
– Supervising and monitoring customer’s package sending operations; -
Keeping records of the processed pa ckage and mail Your typical daily tasks will contain:
– operating with a remote helpdesk (it helps to schedule your daily work, send message to otherteam members, download and share project documentation and other materials);
– answer client emails and calls.
Salary and remuneration:
– usd 40000 yearly (paid in parts, every month).
– Working hours: 9AM – 5PM Mon – Fri
In order to apply for this position, please email us a copy of your most recent CV. We will check the submitted information and call back you in 1 -2 business days to tell you about the status of your application.
Bruce Grossman, EU Deliveries Human Resources dpt.
HR-eudelivery@gmx.com
From: Joseph webster
Sent: Monday, March 4, 2013 6:51 AM
To: Postmaster
Cc: Administrator
Subject: Work for those who wishes to earn money
Hello,Our company, Grand Tour tourist agency offers you a part-time position of a Tour Manager. We are one of the largest 10 travel agencies in Europe, we also work with t he United States.
At this moment, our firm is searching for interested individuals who will be able to become our reps in the USA. So this ad is only for people with the USA citizenship or a work permit. Your main role will be providing support for our clients from the United States, while they are voyaging in Europe.
REQUIREMENTS:
– Basic skills with PC, including e-mails and word processing;
– Must be able to multi-task;
– Must be at least 19;
– High School Diploma or a college degree is a benefit.Your pay will be usd 4000 monthly according to the work plan that should be executed. For further details, please write us at:
laura-penningtongrand-tour8@gmx.com . Upon receiving your message, we will forward you all the required
information to get acquainted with.Yours sincerely,
Laura Pennington
Grand Tour
Wowzers! I had no idea you could be a Tour Manager or a Shipping/Receiving Clerk with no experience. From home. In your skivvies (OK TMI). But the really interesting thing about these offer letters is that they all appear to have been generated from the same faulty template. Note that the emails are always From: Joseph webster with different spoofed email addresses. Oh well, they just got several of the properties mixed up. Or maybe not, after all Michael Watson thanked me for the provided opportunity. You’re welcome, Mike. It was nothing. No really.
So there you have it – my list of stuff that I would be thankful for if they were even marginally real.
